I Am Not for EveryoneJul 10, 2020
I am not for everyone and that’s okay.
I grew up as a people pleaser. I believed that it was very important to be aware of what other people thought of me and my actions at all times. Before I made any decision, I carefully analyzed how it would affect others and their thoughts of me.
As a kid, it worked out pretty well. I was terrified of getting in trouble, having people think badly of me so I excelled at school and stayed out of trouble.
As an adult… not so much. The constant need to have everyone like me came back to kick me in the butt, again and again.
I built myself completely around others’ expectations, from the way I looked, to my friends, to my relationships, passions, personality, and more.
I became an expert at analyzing people and situations so that I could figure out the person I needed to be for those certain people in order for them to like me. I had no one true self, but instead, many different versions of me made to please everyone and anyone.
I was a chameleon. And I was really good at it. I even fooled myself for years.
I spent so much time trying to get everyone to like me that I never figured out what I actually liked. I wanted everyone to think I was the best. When people chose not to do business with me or be friends with me, it made me feel as though I was the problem. That I was a failure. That I was not good enough.
Surprisingly, I figured out that in my life, as well as my business, it’s a good thing to drive people away!
As I was growing my business, I realized that certain clients were simply exhausting. It would literally drain all of my energy to work with some people. Then there were others who were such a perfect fit that it seemed like the time would just fly by when working with them.
That’s when I realized that I was not for everyone… and not everyone was for me either.
That’s when I decided to stop trying to convince people to work with me. I realized that I was only trying to feed my need to be liked. Instead, I shouldn’t have to convince someone to work with me. They should WANT to work with me. They should understand and believe in my value.
So now, I talk to those who can hear me. I don’t waste my time trying to convince people of my value. They won’t ever want to buy what I am selling.
As you “drive people away,” you only get closer to your ideal people. Those who love you, who want to be close to you, who truly value you, are one step closer.
The more you embody your true persona, the more incompatible people will pull away from you.
That’s okay because at the same time, the more you adapt your true self, the more like-minded people you’ll draw toward you.
You are not for everyone, and that’s not just okay, that’s amazing.